Tutorial: Essay Introductions

 

Study Skill 13.1 Part A Tutorial: Essay Introductions

 

Introduction

Looking at two example essays we will break the introduction down into the three parts:  hook, overview, and thesis statement. Here is the prompt for the essay: 

  Writing Prompt

Write a five-paragraph expository essay on the topic of fast food.  Your target audiences are your peers and teacher. Remember, an expository essay provides information.  You are NOT trying to persuade someone to eat or not eat fast food. Your introduction should have a hook, an overview of the body of your essay, and a strong thesis statement.  Each body paragraph must have a topic sentence, several supporting sentences, and a transition sentence to the next paragraph. The conclusion should restate your thesis using different words and connect the information to your life and that of your reader.  Facts and information from sources must have MLA format in-text citations. Don’t forget to include a Works Cited page in MLA format on a separate page at the end of your essay.  

Below are two example introductions:

Example 1 

      Do you like hamburgers?  I do. My mom tells me that eating hamburgers every day is not good for me.  Fast food has been around for a long time. In this essay, I will tell you why eating fast food every day is bad for you.

 

Example 2 

      Every day after school my friends and I walk to an area of our town that has shops, restaurants, and a beautiful, three-tiered fountain.  It is a central part of our town and is always bustling with people, especially in the afternoon when everyone is craving something to eat or drink.  It was inevitable that fast-food restaurants would open in this area to compete for business from shoppers, people meeting each other, and school kids like us. In 2000, the first fast-food restaurant, Chicken Fluffy, opened in this area and it was immediately a popular place to gather.  My friends and I would usually go there after school and order their famous chicken wings and milkshakes as we talked about our day and planned for the weekend. After an hour or so we all would go our separate ways to do homework and have dinner with our families. I never gave this ritual a second thought other than looking forward to spending time with my friends. The first McDonald’s opened in 1940 (Klein, 2019) and, just like Chicken Fluffy’s in my town, it became very popular, but there has always been competition in the fast-food industry. Every restaurant wants to be the one known as the fastest and tastiest,   but some restaurants have traded fresh ingredients for food that is full of preservatives and chemicals because it is easier to prepare quickly. In recent years, some fast-food restaurants are trying to have more healthy options and provide a larger variety of fresh ingredients. For many, the convenience of eating at places like Chicken Fluffy and McDonald’s often wins out over healthier options or eating at home.

Paragraph Analysis

Click on the tabs below to review the key concepts of an introduction paragraph and answer questions about each.

Learn about Hooks

The hook is the first portion of the introduction paragraph.  We recommend personal anecdotes to grab the attention of the audience and allow them to connect to you, the writer. 

Let’s look at the two examples. In the examples, we'll look at only the hooks for each of these introductory paragraphs. It is easy to see that Example 2 introduction is much longer than Example 1:

Example 1 

Do you like hamburgers?  I do.

This hook uses a rhetorical question to get the attention of the reader.  Did it get your attention? You might be thinking that you have something in common with the writer if you both like hamburgers.  However, it doesn’t really make you want to learn more by reading the essay.

Example 2 

Every day after school my friends and I walk to an area of our town that has shops, restaurants, and a beautiful, three-tiered fountain.  It is a central part of our town and is always bustling with people, especially in the afternoon when everyone is craving something to eat or drink.  It was inevitable that fast-food restaurants would open in this area to compete for business from shoppers, people meeting each other, and school kids like us. In 2000, the first fast-food restaurant, Chicken Fluffy, opened in this area and it was immediately a popular place to gather.  My friends and I would usually go there after school and order their famous chicken wings and milkshakes as we talked about our day and planned for the weekend. After an hour or so we all would go our separate ways to do homework and have dinner with our families. I never gave this ritual a second thought other than looking forward to spending time with my friends.

This hook is a personal anecdote.  It gives enough details that the reader can imagine this event taking place.  You might connect to the writer because you have a group of friends you hang out with after school.  You might also have a favorite fast-food restaurant where you share good times with people you know. Maybe you even live in a similar town with shops and a fountain.  The writer has given enough details that the reader can picture himself in this situation and make connections between the anecdote and their own life. It also makes you want to know more.  You can read that there is more to this essay than a recounting of time spent with friends at Chicken Fluffy. This is intriguing. Do you want to read the essay and find out more?

 

Check Your Understanding

Learn about Overview/Preview Topics

The overview of your introduction provides a window into the body of your essay.  Remember, for each body paragraph you need at least one sentence in your overview. 

Each sentence should reflect the topic of the body paragraph it is representing. Take a look at the examples below and try to figure out the topic of each body paragraph in the essay.

Example 1 

My mom tells me that eating hamburgers every day is not good for me.  Fast food has been around for a long time.

 

Example 2 

The first McDonald’s opened in 1940 (Klein, 2019) and, just like Chicken Fluffy’s in my town, it became very popular, but there has always been competition in the fast-food industry. Every restaurant wants to be the one known as the fastest and tastiest, but some restaurants have traded fresh ingredients for food that is full of preservatives and chemicals because it is easier to prepare quickly.   In recent years, some fast-food restaurants are trying to have more healthy options and provide a larger variety of fresh ingredients.

Learn about Thesis statements

Your thesis is a strong statement of the main message you want to send to the reader.  You should never write in first person point of view as this brings you, the writer, into the focus of the essay.  The focus is always the reader, not the writer.

There is no need to say “In this essay, I will write about…” because this is redundant.  You will do this in the essay and there is no need to announce your intention. What if you announced to everyone, or no one, what you were about to do?  “I am going to do my homework now.” “I will now inhale.” “I will eat now.” More than likely you simply do these things without all the fanfare. Your thesis statement is similar in that it doesn’t need an announcement.  Simply convey the message of your essay without telling your reader “The message of my essay is…” Your reader is smart and will get your message as you have a strong thesis statement.

Take a look at the two example thesis statements below, then use them to answer the questions that follow.

Example 1 

In this essay, I will tell you why eating fast food every day is bad for you.

Example 2 

For many, the convenience of eating at places like Chicken Fluffy and McDonald’s often wins out over healthier options or eating at home.

 

Practice

Use the following new example introduction paragraph to answer the questions in Practice 1 and Practice 2 below.

   New Sample Introduction

My best friend, Marty, was always more popular than me.  She was pretty, outgoing, smart, and seemed to have her life together.  When she came to me last winter and told me she was being bullied on social media I was surprised.  There was a group of people who were very negative toward her and said terrible things that hurt Marty’s feelings.  They didn’t like her clothes or her hair. They made fun of her body and her choice of friends, including me. I couldn’t understand why these people didn’t like Marty.  I felt powerless to help her. That is when I truly comprehended how being bullied on social media can hurt someone. Since the first social media site, Six Degrees, was established in 1997 (Hendricks) the popularity of these types of platforms has continued to increase to include a variety of modern outlets including Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat.  The bullying that goes on using social media is called “cyberbullying” and it is very common, especially amongst middle and high school students. Being aware of cyberbullying is recommended but there are many other things we can do to prevent it in our schools and communities. Cyberbullying is both harmful and illegal, however, with proper awareness and education users can enjoy the positive aspects of social media and fight against those that spread hate and negativity. 

 

Practice 1

Directions: Match the information to the correct item.

 

Practice 2

Directions: Use the new sample paragraph to answer the following questions.

Key Ideas

  • Introductions have three parts:  hook, overview, thesis statement
  • The strongest hooks are personal anecdotes.
  • Overviews should have at least one sentence for each body paragraph in the essay.
  • The thesis statement:
    • must be one statement
    • can be proven with research
    • sends a clear message which addresses the prompt
    • written in 3rd person point of view

Apply

  • At the end of each day, write a thesis statement about what happened in your life.  Remember to follow the guidelines.
  • Think of an event that happened in your life that would make a strong hook because it is a funny personal anecdote.  What might be the topic of the essay it would represent?
  • What personal anecdote would you tell to hook a reader into an essay that taught an important lesson about kindness or acceptance? 
  • Write an introduction to a five paragraph essay about your life.  What three important events would you list in the overview sentences?