Editing for Clarity

Lesson 7 Editing for Clarity

Essential Question

Why is it important to be clear and precise when we write?

Grammar in the World

cartoon about clarity

(Mizzou Academy, 2021)

What Do I Know?

What do you already know about using clear, specific language when speaking and writing? Use this interactive to find out.

Building Blocks

Grammar is a complex system and structure of language. Mizzou Academy Grammar Lab spotlights one skill (or block) at a time, but it’s often helpful to see how a skill works together with other, related blocks to build the language structure as a whole. You may find the following resource topics helpful as context for this lesson:

Learn About Editing for Clarity

The first aim of grammar study, of course, is to be correct. No one wants to have errors or mistakes in their writing that make a bad impression!

But there’s more to mastering grammar than simply an absence of errors. Once you understand the rules for things like parts of speech and punctuation and sentence structure, then you get to the fun part! You get to use what you’ve learned to take control of your writing in the only way that really matters: to communicate clearly and well.

Fuzzy, obscure writing, even if it’s grammatically correct, can be just as bad as writing that’s full of errors. Have you ever had a conversation or an argument with someone, for example, and no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t get them to understand you? Or, have you ever received feedback from a teacher that said you needed to “be more specific,” when you thought you had made yourself perfectly clear? It's a common experience, but there are steps you can take to improve and enhance the clarity of your writing.

Step 1: Recognize common pitfalls so you can avoid them.

Click on each tab below to learn about the common pitfalls of uncertainty and overconfidence in writing.

Uncertainty

When writers are unsure, we tend to write around the point. If you’re afraid to be “wrong,” it’s tempting to hedge your bets with broad generalizations that would be difficult to disprove. (It’s pretty safe to say that two poems you’re comparing have “many similarities and differences,” for example. Of course they do!) Sometimes writers even attempt to be intentionally vague and hope no one notices.

At the other end of the spectrum, uncertain writers may try to fill sentences with fancy vocabulary or to make sentences so long and complex that they hope it at least sounds like they know what they're talking about. But that’s a recipe for word salad that doesn’t really say much of anything at all.

Overconfidence

When you’re given a writing assignment about a subject that you DO know a lot about -- perhaps even something that’s a passion for you or where you have some expertise -- it’s tempting to want to show off and impress your audience. It’s also easy to forget that your readers either may not know as much about the topic as you do, or that they may see the subject in an entirely different way.

Overly confident writers may inflate their language with jargon (the “terms of the trade”) in a way that could confuse readers, or they may rush past premises without explaining base points fully and precisely.

If you recognize either of these tendencies in your own writing, you’re certainly not alone! But you do want to address them because unclear writing will never successfully mask unclear thinking.

Step 2: Approach editing for clarity from a reader’s point of view.

Writing is an act of communication, which means that getting your thoughts onto the page (or screen) is only half the transaction. There’s someone at the other end of the line, and no matter how much your ideas make sense to you as the writer, they have meaning only if they make it to the other end in a way that makes clear, logical sense to your reader, too.

When it’s time to edit for clarity, approach your first drafts as if you’re a reader seeing them for the first time. That mindset will help you recognize places where your meaning may be unclear.

In short: Be on the lookout for common problems that interfere with clear communication, and apply specific strategies to fix them.

Common Problems that Make Writing Unclear	What to Look For	How to Fix It
Overly Complicated Syntax	Exceptionally long, complicated sentences that string a lot of phrases and clauses together	Look first at your verbs. Wherever you can, replace passive verbs and long verb phrases with a single action verb in the active voice. Be selective about nonessential information. Include only what’s most important. As a general rule, “less is more” when it comes to clarity. Be concise.
	My argument *that the essay will present* will show *that I understand that* *the play has elements of* classical Greek tragedy and *that it also has* elements of more modern themes and traditions.	My thesis argues* that the play is a modern tragedy.*
Vague or Ambiguous Language	Broad, general words that could have multiple meanings.	Eliminate “red flag” words, such as: many, different, good, great, bad, things, very, unique, interesting, a lot Replace vague or ambiguous words with concrete words that say what you really mean.
	Biff feels *many different emotions* about his father. Not being strong enough to survive a cruel system, Miller suggests that he *wasn’t all bad*.	Biff simultaneously *loves* and *resents* his father. Miller suggests that Willy Loman wasn’t strong enough to survive a cruel system, making Willy seem *more like a victim than a villain*.
Inflated Language	Technical jargon, flowery or overly emotional words, pretentious vocabulary that sounds forced or artificial	Use a thesaurus to find the most precise word, not the biggest word Do not use any words you don’t fully understand or that you would not use comfortably and confidently in conversation Be precise and direct.
	The *anomalous* and *paradoxical puzzlement* of Willy Loman’s *depiction indwells* within his *quixotic* but *inveigled aspirations*.	The *complexity* of Willy Loman’s character *lies* in his *noble* but *misguided intentions*.
Dangling or Misplaced Modifiers	Words, phrases, or clauses that don’t seem connected to anything else in the sentence, or that seem to describe the wrong thing in the sentence.	Check that all of the essential information is included in the sentence. Place modifiers as close as possible to the words they modify.
	*Not being strong enough to survive a cruel system, Miller* suggests that he wasn’t all bad.	Miller suggests that *Willy Loman wasn’t strong enough to survive a cruel system*, making Willy seem more like a victim than a villain.
Circular Reasoning	Phrasing that attempts to prove a point by basically restating the same point.	Eliminate repetition; avoid using synonyms at the beginning of a sentence and at the end. Particularly following the word “because,” make sure you’re answering the question how or why with something specific.
	Death of a Salesman is one of *my favorite* plays *because I’ve always loved it*.	Death of a Salesman is one of *my favorite* plays *because Willy Loman reminds me of my father*.
Arguing a Negative	The words if, was not/were not, could have/would have/should have	Argue in the affirmative. In other words, focus on what your subject IS and what it DOES. Include details that would be possible to illustrate or prove with examples and existing evidence.
	If Death of a Salesman *had not* ended tragically, audiences *would not* be able to see or understand the main lesson of the play. Willy Loman, a father of two, is the play’s protagonist, but *it’s not him* that emerges as its hero.	Death of a Salesman’s tragic ending *reveals that our values and our choices decide our fate. Willy Loman, a father of two, is the play’s protagonist, but* *it is* *his eldest son* Biff who emerges as its hero.
Faulty or Ambiguous Pronoun References	Demonstrative pronouns (this/that) used to begin a sentence on their own Any pronoun (he/she/they, etc.) that appears in a sentence without an antecedent Any pronoun that seems to refer to an antecedent that doesn’t match it or that doesn’t make sense in context. *That’s* due today. Not being strong enough to survive a cruel system, Miller suggests that he wasn’t all bad.	As a rule, do not begin any sentence with “This” or “That” by itself. These words are demonstrative pronouns. Include the word they are supposed to demonstrate (i.e. “This -- what?”) If your sentence contains a pronoun, check that its antecedent appears somewhere in the same sentence. If a pronoun and its antecedent are separated by modifiers, repeat the antecedent for clarity. *That essay* about Death of a Salesman is due today. Miller suggests that *Willy Loman* wasn’t strong enough to survive a cruel system, making *Willy* seem more like a victim than a villain.

Do I Get It?

What have you learned about editing for clarity? Use this interactive to check your understanding.

Directions: Read carefully each of the following pairs of sentences. The first sentence contains an error that makes its meaning unclear; the second sentence has corrected that error.

Identify the error in the first sentence that the second sentence corrects.